What do we mean by Personal Development?

 

Personal development is a lifelong process - we set a goal, achieve it, and set the next goal, thus realising and maximising your potential and moving forward in life.

These goals can be in many aspects of our life including mental, social, spiritual, emotional, and physical.  

It is also key player in many areas of life including:

 

    •Public Speaking

    •Study Skills

    •Sports Performance

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Therefore personal development is important as it helps you to grow as an individual by expanding self-awareness and knowledge and improving personal skills. By establishing target areas for yourself you make it easier to create a plan to work towards achieving these objectives.

 

  What can affect it and hold you back?

 

Personal development can be influenced by many factors, not least of all by the fact that so many of us find ourselves juggling the challenges of busy everyday lives. Deciding what kind of person you wish to aspire to be or what goals you wish to accomplish takes clarity of mind, a willingness to look carefully and honestly at yourself, and the courage and commitment to make changes.

Certainly it can be hindered by lack of confidence and self-awareness, but it can often be undermined by the tendency for us to look at external circumstances as the causal factors. Although there are clearly times when external forces can slow us down or throw us off track, the barriers to self-growth and personal success are generally found within us.

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Many of these personal barriers are:

 

• Attitude - if your attitude is one of negativity or pessimism, then you are draining your powers of inspiration and hampering your options

• Blame - repeatedly blaming others or circumstances for what happens in your life means you are avoiding taking responsibility which will stunt self-growth and maturity. On the flip side - blaming yourself for everything is just as unproductive as blaming others!

• Denial - personal growth is not possible if you think it is unnecessary for you to make change

• Defensiveness - you cannot grow if you are always defending yourself against real or perceived criticism.

• Lack of, or unrealistic goals - how can you decide what your next steps are if you don’t know where you want to go, or you have set yourself an impossible task? 

• Lack of motivation - many of us think we want something in life and spend much time daydreaming about having it. However, it never seems to materialise, so ask yourself this:                                             

“What do I want that I will do everything in my power to get, that I can’t live without?”

-When you have the answer to this then you will have all the motivation you need to make it happen.

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•  Self-Discipline - if you have motivation but lack self-discipline you will always be disappointed in yourself.

•  Perfectionism - avoiding the areas where you need to target self-growth because you cannot do it perfectly, is a common occurrence and is another way of procrastinating about improving yourself.

• Pride and Hurt - if you are unable to let go of past injuries to your ego and pride, you will find it hard to move forward. This means you will find it hard to heal the injury, and you may, consequently, feel victimised. Learning to ‘forgive and forget’, is extremely important in the growth process.

…and the last factor on my list, but certainly by no means least is:

• Fear - fear of the unknown and of change…the “What ifs” of life can have a significant influence on our ability to bring about necessary changes in our life.

 

A key factor in any aspect of personal development and self-growth is the ability to perform the task at hand.

However, many of us find this particular task very stressful which creates what is referred to as Performance Anxiety.

 

  What is Performance Anxiety?

 

You’ve studied for weeks, and it’s time for your final exam - you know your stuff…

 

You’ve written a really effective speech, it is both witty and informative…it will hit the spot and impress…

 

You’ve practiced your moves, you know them off by heart…it’s now time to show off your abilities to the audience…

 

You got a good night’s sleep…BUT….you start to feel sweaty, your heart is racing, your hands are trembling and you feel a little sick, you want to escape…and then you panic, your mind goes blank, you can’t remember, you can’t get your words out, you’ve forgotten your moves!

 

This is what can occur if you suffer from performance anxiety.

 

You feel like you’ve let yourself down, like you’ve failed. This results in a loss of confidence in your ability to perform at your best when you get put under pressure, which can lead to avoiding situations where you are asked to perform for fear of past “failures” re-occurring.

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  How can I help you overcome Performance Anxiety?

 

Performance anxiety is primarily caused by negative thoughts, beliefs and negative projections about what might occur. It is also affected by your fears and how you perceive you might be judged or viewed by other people. For this reason it is common for people to suffer from performance anxiety if they have social anxiety, and vice-versa.

 

Therefore, confronting your fears and vulnerabilities, accepting yourself for who you are, and not feeling like you have to prove yourself to others, is the first step toward overcoming performance anxiety - learning that nobody is perfect, nobody expects you to be perfect, and it is OK to make mistakes - “to err is human.”

 

The second step is learning how to redirect your negative thoughts, beliefs, images, and predictions about performing in public. Doing this is not as difficult as you might think.

I have many cognitive behavioural techniques coupled with hypnosis that can help with addressing these areas where you will use your imagination to visualise the person you want to be, and positive suggestions that will build your self-esteem and confidence - we will replace these negative thoughts and beliefs with positive ones!

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  How can I help you improve your Personal Development?

 

Have you ever felt like you are in the middle of a lake, treading water looking at the shoreline that surrounds you but not sure which shore to swim to? 

I can help give you mental clarity as to where your goals lie, whether they are realistic, and help you to think of milestone goals along the way which are achievable and confidence building. I can also teach you cognitive skills in order to align your tasks with where you want to be in life. 

 

Do you feel as though you often seem to miss your goal but don’t know why? By gaining insight and understanding your underlying fears and beliefs, as well as unhelpful thought patterns such as procrastination and perfectionism, we can begin the process of restructuring these cognitions.

I can help you find what might be sabotaging your success, and replace these “faulty systems” with methods that work for you.

 

Or maybe you lack assertiveness and self-belief? I have many techniques that can help you find the balance between asserting yourself and being considerate to others, as well as building your self-esteem and confidence.

Building your mental strategies and strength, and giving you insight into what works for you, will give you the skills you need to keep your daily tasks, and the way you go about them, in line with your ultimate purpose.